I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
