I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize