At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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