He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
