shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
