good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
