I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize