so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
