Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
