You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
