so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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