Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
