Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
