Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
