So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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