Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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