Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
