I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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