i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I smell stomach acid.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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