hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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