I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
