Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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