who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
