Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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