from now on my penis is your penis
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
