Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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