Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
