Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize