it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
