it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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