Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
