Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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