It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This gyro tastes like lonliness
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5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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