How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
