why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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