Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
