TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
