So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
