remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I stole a fireplace last night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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