I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
