No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
