I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
