You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
