so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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