I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish you could order shots online.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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