Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
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we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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