i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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