You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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