I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
