he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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