I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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