Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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