Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
