You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
