Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
