I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
