Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize