Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This baby is an asshole
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
