I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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