Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
