ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
