So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
