is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
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He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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