those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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