glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
