Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
