Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
