highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
