Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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